I just want to say thank you to all the wonderful people I’ve met on here, but I need to focus on what is reasonable for me, and constantly looking at thinspo is not gonna work anymore.
I wish all 620 of you following me all the best!!
Remember to love yourself and be healthy! :)
I just have to update you all by saying I am now 112.5lbs!!
I almost cried! I don’t know what I did to lose 2.5lbs, but it happened. Sadly, I’m not super happy with how I look today, but its just one of those days where you feel like crap, so you think you look like crap.
I’m still not striving for a specific number, but for confidence. I don’t care if I maintain or even go back up to 114, I just want to look in the mirror and think, “Wow! I look good!”
I think part of my problems with my appearance is because I spend WAY too much time looking at thinspo. Maybe if I stop looking at what I think I need to look like, I’ll see myself the way other people see me. Maybe if I stop obsessing over the thigh gap I’ll accept that having a gap there isn’t going to make me like myself any more. That I don’t need to weigh 100lbs to be happy.
But who knows. Maybe after a week I’ll come back and realize nothing changed. If that’s the case, then that’s the case. I just don’t want to feel bad about myself anymore. I want to be happy.
You know what annoys me about that kind of bullshit? Girls who write things like that assume that guys either want vapid blonde bombshell nymphomaniacs or bookish prudes who don’t wear makeup and only want to cuddle, play video games, watch anime, and eat pizza, because OMG SO FUCKING QUIRKY. Reality? I don’t want girls like either of those, goddammit.
I like a girl who looks good in sweatpants, but you know what? It’s nice to see a girl in a skirt sometimes if she’s the type of girl who looks good in one and likes to wear them. I don’t want a girl whose room looks like a tornado went through it all the time; it’s okay sometimes, but goddammit, sometimes we all gotta pick up our shit. It’s part of being an adult. I don’t need someone who has to always wake up early to look nice, but sometimes, it’s cool. I wake up early sometimes to look nice, because looking nice makes you feel nice, which makes your interaction with the world more pleasant. That’s great on days when I’m not so lazy that I just throw on a hoodie and stagger out of my apartment.
Two hairstyles, up or down? Do you want a cookie? Some people like to do different shit with their hair, and good for them. You’re not special because you’re lazy. Don’t make your blandness the road less traveled. Everyone eats. And if someone doesn’t eat much because of an eating disorder, real helpful of you to be condescending. Can’t walk in heels? Wear flats. Nobody cares. Girls who can pull off heels can look great in them, but nobody really gives a shit about your shoes. Real talk.
It’s good that you don’t pretend to be stupid. Everyone should be like that, and honestly, most people are. What I’ve learned is that many of the girls you think are pretending to be stupid are just stupid. Some of them are smart, yeah, but most smart girls I know are proud of that fact. Maybe because I don’t hang out with people who suck. You mean what you say, but you say you’re fine even when everything is wrong? Yeah, that sounds stable. You’re not gonna turn my penis into a windchime while I sleep or anything.
Oh my God, you little rebel you! You hold up your middle finger! And you hold it up high! Can we be friends? No, scratch that, can we date? No, fuck that, can we get married? And have lots of little edgy babies who hold their middle fingers high, because that’s just so cool! It’s not like people just do that. It’s something that needs to be bragged about. Because you are just so very cool, you are really cool for real.
You’re probably not tough at all, and you say you don’t care what people think, yet you wrote a giant paragraph about it and posted it on the internet. Think about this on the tree of woe.
^^ thank you haha